Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Wednesday's Woe - War Between the States: When Words’ Effect Berates…






Wednesday's Woe

War Between the States:

When Words’ Effect Berates…


The Importance of Not Comparing a
Death of Order (such as Child Losing a Mother), 
complicated though that may be, with a 
Death Out of Order (Mother Losing a Child)








War Between the States


Your state: Denial— 
My state: Under Fire
For still loving my dead child.


Clueless to my pain,
Doing what you do—
I cannot be around you.


Simply loving you—
I reach out to care,
But you stab me with a spear!


Blind to Child-Loss pain:
My heart you disdain—
(Its vulner’bility scares…)


Then words start to fly:
War declared ‘tween you and me
Slaughtering my heart…


Love must rear its head:
Declare— Our fellowship, “Dead!”
Camellias blooming blood red…





Moral of Story:
(No more words impart
To further grieve th’ mother’s heart!!!)


Interesting Note, the Japanese word for Red Camellia, Tsubaki, or 椿, has the meaning, 

In Love, Perishing with grace”! 

So Apropos!





~~~



Having just read the book _life after the death of my son: what i’m learning_ written by grieving father Dennis Apple, I was inspired to turn again to poetry, using both sides of my brain to try to capture the essence of what just had transpired between me and a family-of-origin member whose words were extremely hurtful to me.* 

Dennis Apple, on page 163 of his book, so aptly says the following words in regard to writing a haiku about some of our Death-of-Child experience: {Uncannily, it also describes the essence of my attempted conversation with the family member who was pushing me to move on, and stay away from (what he deemed as) “unnecessary” pain, and “unbeneficial” pain.)

“There are many who would think this exercise morbid. If you feel it would be helpful to you, do not let their feelings about it discourage you.”

Amen, brother. Amen!







Regarding the writing of the above haiku, I make the following notes to some of the exceptions taken to the typical haiku poem originated by the Japanese:

*Inspired by Dennis and Buelah Apple, I am using the “Haiku” style poem, although I am varying lines of 5- and 7-syllables in an attempt to describe some aspects of my grief (leaving out as Dennis and his wife often did, the usual haiku ingredient of using a seasonal word in at least one of the triplet lines (although I did use a seasonal phrase in my final triplet), as well as my own choosing to leave out the traditional format of the 7-syllable line being the middle line of the triplets. I also use some rhyming which a typical haiku rarely does).

Camellia notations and picture from

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanakotoba

(found at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanakotoba )


Saturday, August 8, 2015

Happy Birthday in Heaven, Sweet Sister of the Heart









Happy Birthday in Heaven,

Sweet Sister of the Heart







In Memory of


Ethel Kowal

and 

her daughter,

Carissa






My dearest Ethel, 

I have been away from Facebook  for quite awhile so when I came to your site today to wish you a happy birthday, I was stunned and so deeply saddened to see that you, my dear sister of the heart, are no longer with us on this earth. What a huge loss to all of us who knew you! You were such a faithful friend to "hold my hand" over these years as we shared the deep pain over the loss of our precious 19-year-old daughters. You always seemed to have just the right words to say to ease my broken heart. Thank you for your kindness and love.  And just as we "virtually" shared a friendship across the continent when you were here, thanks to our Lord, I trust our friendship continues on even now ~ across the heavens...

Tommy and I are praying for your precious Dennis and Tara left on this earth; I know they love and miss you so very much. We will all miss your tender love Ethel, but we rejoice to know we will someday join that "great cloud of witnesses" and be reunited with one another in the eternal peace of His love. 

Happy Birthday dear sister of the heart. Know that we love and miss you so. Today, in your memory, and in thankfulness for yours and Carissa's eternal salvation, I play for you what you shared with me as being one of Carissa's favorite songs, "Mighty to Save" by Hillsong (this also was a favorite of my Merry Katherine's!). ~Sweet blessings to you~

Enjoy holding your precious baby girl (((Carissa))) close to your heart today on your birthday in Heaven dear (((Ethel))) as you both bask in the love and sweet peace of our Heavenly Father... 

I remember your once writing to me, as you were longing for your Carissa,

"Oh to hear that sweet voice again and see that charismatic smile!"

~ What a blessing to know dear Ethel, thanks to the love and grace of our Lord, that now you surely can! 











Mighty to Save


~Hillsong




Everyone needs compassion
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me...

Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Savior,
The hope of nations...

[Chorus:]
Savior ~ He can move the mountains;
My God is mighty to save!
He is mighty to save!
Forever Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave!
Jesus conquered the grave!


(music interlude)

So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures...
Fill my life again


I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender
(I surrender)

    Savior ~ He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave;
Jesus conquered the grave!

Savior ~ He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave;
Jesus conquered the grave!




Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King ~ Jesus!

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King ~ Jesus!



Savior ~ He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave;
Jesus conquered the grave!

Savior ~ He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave;
Jesus conquered the grave!




Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King ~ Jesus!

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King ~ Jesus!

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King ~ Jesus!

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King ~ Jesus!

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King ~ Jesus!

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King!









Happy Birthday in Heaven picture, thanks to google.com

Picture of Ethel and Carissa, thanks to another precious sister of the heart, Melody Robinson-Hill