Friday, May 31, 2013

Friday's Faith - Can the Complex Be This Simple?






Friday's Faith

Can the Complex Be This Simple?












~~~



Jesus said to her, 

"I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in Me, even if he dies, will live..."

~John 11:25 Holman Christian Standard Bible











Graphics, Thanks to ~2012: Love and Loss, and ~Hers To Treasure, provided by grieving mother, Leslie Nelson Martin, and ~Hers To Treasure

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Thursday's Therapy - Dr. Cacciatore's Guide to Self-Compassion ~Dr. Joanne Cacciatore, Psychologist and Grieving Mother






Thursday's Therapy

Dr. Cacciatore's Guide to Self-Compassion

~Dr. Joanne Cacciatore, Psychologist and Grieving Mother







Dr. Cacciatore's Guide to Self-Compassion



 1. Spend at least fifteen to thirty minutes daily in meditation, prayer or quiet time just being.

 2. Commit at least twenty minutes a day to exercise- yoga, walking, or any type of exercise within your abilities.

 3. When you are able, try to laugh at least once a day.

 4. Surround yourself with caring others- family, friends, and/or colleagues. Seek the company of others who are compassionate, open hearted, and kind.

5. Get 15-20 minutes of sunshine each day.

 6. Observe and experience nature. Notice the sky when walking to your car. Listen to the sounds of birds. Pay attention to the trees, smell blossoming flowers, hear the buzzing ees, and watch ants as they work. Get out into nature as often as you can.

 7. Experience gratitude daily, even for simple things in life that we usually take for granted such as clean running water, shelter, & food. 

 8. Notice negative self-talk and love yourself through them when you can.

 9. Show compassion, actively, toward others. Look for, even small, opportunities to help. Open doors, offer to aid someone carrying groceries, really listen to someone else's story. Actively seek to give kindness, and volunteer at least one day per month.

10. Support your brain: Eat a healthy diet and eliminate junk foods. Take a good, food based multi-vitamin/mineral and include omega oils.

11. Express your feelings and affection for your loved ones. Take the time to tell them how much they mean to you. Give, and accept praise.

12. Try to experience connectedness to others. To your beloved dead. To neighbors. To family. To the sky and earth. Pay attention to feelings of disconnection and strive toward feelings and actions which promote connection.

13. Seek rituals that help you remember your loved ones who have died.

14. Change your routine in small ways. Change the way you dress one day; take a new route to work; find a novel hobby; read a new book; wear a new scent; eat a new food.


15. Give yourself permission to experience self-compassion & self-love. Be gentle with you. Practice forgiveness - especially to your self, and be your own best friend.


Thanks to ~Dr. Joanne Cacciatore, Facebook





Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Wednesday's Woe - Unresolved Grief, a Hidden Health Risk






Wednesday's Woe

Unresolved Grief, a Hidden Health Risk







In the following article from USA Today, experts say Unresolved Grief can be a risk factor that may contribute to other health problems:


• Jeopardizes our physical health

• Jeopardizes our mental health

• Creates injury (Often causes one to be accident-prone)

• Is suspected to be behind much of the nation's obesity, depression, diabetes, smoking, and hospitalizations

• Can kill people

• Creates a need for a greater degree of support in dealing with feelings after a person's death than grievers typically will get

• May cause feelings of guilt

• May cause feelings of numbness

• May cause fear

• May cause breathing difficulties

• May cause sleeplessness

• May cause anger

• May foster not caring for one's own physical health

• Poses a risk factor for having poor health 




Unresolved grief can be hidden health risk, experts say

Janice Lloyd, USA TODAY
10:13 a.m. EDT May 27, 2013

Grief is a risk factor that can contribute to other health problems.



Supporters line up to provide a motorcycle escort outside the May 24 funeral for 9-year-old torndo victim Nicholas McCabe in Moore, Oklahoma

(Photo: Tom Pennington, Getty Images)

STORY HIGHLIGHTS
  • How we wrestle with grief varies among individuals
  • Experts believe grief is linked to obesity, depression, diabetes, smoking and hospitalization
  • There are no easy solutions, but finding support is crucial

Whether you lose a loved one to disease, war, or a natural disaster like the tornado that tore apart Moore, Okla., last week, grief is the unwanted visitor that comes knocking at your door.

How we wrestle with grief — and ultimately push ahead to a new life — varies among individuals. But many of us who need help to bounce back are not getting it, health experts warn, jeopardizing our mental and physical health.Toni Miles, director of the Institute of Gerontology at the University of Georgia, is embarking on a research project to find out how loss impacts health and what to do about it.

"Loss creates injury,'' Miles says. "It is a new risk factor for poor health in the public sphere."

Miles suspects grief is behind much of the nation's obesity, depression, diabetes, smoking and hospitalization.

"When you study caregiving, you know (grief) kills people,'' Miles says. "Obesity is also a big problem among caregivers. "

Finding support can be the key to a person's recovery and acceptance of the loss, says the American Cancer Society. Support can come from friends, physicians, spiritual leaders or mental health professionals. Everyone reacts differently to grief and for different periods of time. There's not one easy solution or answer, Miles says.

Getting the right amount of support is rare, according to a 2004 study on family perspectives on dying in the Journal of the American Medical Association. Lead researcher Joan Teno asked participants "during the last month (of their loved one's life), how much support in dealing with your feelings about a patient's death did the doctors, nurses or other professional staff taking care of him or her provide you: less support than was needed, about the right amount or more attention than you needed?''

Overall, 20% of the family members stated they did not have the right amount of support, and most said they got less support than they needed.

Teno, a professor of health services policy and practice in the Public Health Program at Brown University and a palliative care physician at Home & Hospice Care of Rhode Island, says her research shows families who use hospice at the end of life cope better than those who don't.

Donald Rosenstein, a professor of psychiatry at the University of North Carolina, is charting new territory into the bereavement process of fathers who lose their wives to cancer. He started a first-of-its-kind support group called Single Fathers Due to Cancer Program, part of the UNC Comprehensive Cancer Support Program.

"Everyone has a different reaction to grief,'' Rosenstein says. "We (health care professionals) don't have a lot of good information about how to get people to move on. But these fathers have been been teaching us."

Rosenstein says in addition to learning what the fathers need – how to discipline children by themselves, how long to wear their wedding bands, when is it OK to date, how long to call their in-laws in-laws — they're also learning how to help their children.

"For instance, moms always want to keep fighting and stay alive as long as possible for their families, but we're learning it's important for them to say goodbye," to provide a sense of closure for their families, he says. "We are also learning how much that helps the children and how to have that conversation with children."

Miles agrees that children are especially vulnerable: "Time doesn't heal all wounds,'' she says. "People in public health need to be discussing this topic more. There can be healthy outcomes from loss. It's up to us to help to find ways to make that happen more often and to push for policy that guarantees it."


ADVICE FOR DEALING WITH GRIEF

Grief is a typical reaction to death, divorce, job loss, a move away from family and friends, or loss of anything that is important to you, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services:It can last from several months to several years, and can be accompanied by feelings of guilt, sadness or numbness. It might cause trembling, breathing difficulties and sleeplessness. It is also normal to feel joy and to express humor.

People who don't process their grief can become angry, guilt-ridden and fail to care of their health. 

Here are the four steps along the way to healing from grief:

• Accept the loss.

• Work through and feel the emotional and physical pain.

• Adjust to living in the world without the person or lost item.

• Move on with life.  {Note, Tommy and Angie say, in Child-Loss Grief, increasing resilience over time helps grieving parents to integrate more positive activities in their lives along with their grief. "Moving on" is not the goal, rather learning to live with the loss of one's child while continuing to embrace life. We recognize that Child-Loss Grief lasts for a life-time, but with good grief-work, over time the grief becomes gentler, and more manageable. Also, maintaining a relationship with your deceased child makes life more meaningful; it is generally recognized now that developing a "new" relationship with one's deceased child is more desirable that feeling such pressures as "moving on," or "letting go." Even Sigmund Freud agreed with this as when he lost his own daughter, he finally realized, there is no letting go, nor moving on, as you will always miss them.}


For more advice, an online guide to grief and bereavement is available from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.










"Healing" Graphic, thanks to ~Angels at My Door

Tuesday's Trust - May the Lord Shepherd You in Your Grief







Tuesday's Trust 

May the Lord Shepherd You in Your Grief










Psalm 23 contains some of the most-quoted verses in the Bible. Often they are used at funerals, perhaps even at your child’s funeral. 
After attending the conference this last weekend and attending a workshop by Linda Stirling, I feel that the Lord is challenging me to share my thoughts with you, just as Linda shared her thoughts with so many of us. 

For the next seven days, I will share a portion of Psalm 23. My challenge to you is to read the words, mull over them, let them roll around in your mind and make their way down to your heart. In doing so, the Lord will simultaneously do what He does best…. Shepherd your pain and heal your wounds.

Here we go, are you ready?

The Lord is My Shepherd. 

This picture encapsulates what I imagine when I think of Jesus as my Shepherd. I am safe in His arms. I am loved in His arms. I am held and cherished. All of me. Every inch. Every ounce. Every beauty. Every moment of ugliness. Every joy. Every sorrow. And as this lamb smiles, the Shepherd smiles greater still as He loves, adores, cherishes and cares for me.

Take some time today. Think about your Shepherd.


~2012: Love and Loss


~~~






~~~






~~~






Psalm 23 contains some of the most-quoted verses in the Bible. Often they are used at funerals, perhaps even at your child’s funeral. 
After attending the conference this last weekend and attending a workshop by Linda Stirling, I feel that the Lord is challenging me to share my thoughts with you, just as Linda shared her thoughts with so many of us. 

For the next seven days, I will share a portion of Psalm 23. My challenge to you is to read the words, mull over them, let them roll around in your mind and make their way down to your heart. In doing so, the Lord will simultaneously do what He does best…. Shepherd your pain and heal your wounds.

Here we go, are you ready?

The Lord is My Shepherd. 

This picture encapsulates what I imagine when I think of Jesus as my Shepherd. I am safe in His arms. I am loved in His arms. I am held and cherished. All of me. Every inch. Every ounce. Every beauty. Every moment of ugliness. Every joy. Every sorrow. And as this lamb smiles, the Shepherd smiles greater still as He loves, adores, cherishes and cares for me.

Take some time today. Think about your Shepherd.


~2012: Love and Loss



~~~

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.

~Psalm 23:1


~~~





Day Three of Psalm 23: My Shepherd Restores My Soul

Restoration comes one moment at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time, one year at a time. Restoration comes as we release our pain to the One who longs to relieve us of our pain. 

He has restored my soul. And although it has been 23 years since I've seen my daughter, and gentle tears sometimes fall, I can say that He has done what I never imagined possible.

Trust Him...


~2012: Love and Loss 


~~~





Day Four of Psalm 23: My Shepherd Guides Me

Jesus wants to guide us through our grief. He knows the Valley of the Shadow of Death is filled with twists and turns. Obstacles and troubles. Pain and sorrow.

He wants to use His staff to guide us when we don't know what to do. He wants to use His staff to prod us when we feel like we can't get out of bed or to take the next step.

Even more importantly, He wants to guide us with His love. Will you let Him today?


~2012: Love and Loss 


~~~


He maketh me to lie down in green pastures;
He leadeth me beside the still waters.

~Psalm 23:2


~~~






Day Five of Psalm 23: My Shepherd Leads Me to Still Waters

Water is life. We were nurtured in water before we were born. Our Lord wants to nurture us in water. Near water. 

Water gives life. It provides what we need to survive. Our Lord wants to be that water for us. 

Water brings peace. Our Lord wants to take our surging emotions and bring us to a place of calm serenity. He closes the emotional sea behind the doors of still water.


~2012: Love and Loss



~~~





Day Six of Psalm 23: My Shepherd Walks with Me

He walks with me through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. He is with us when we face death. He is with us after the loss. He is with us through the deep darkness. He is with us when we emerge into the light.


~2012: Love and Loss



~~~





Day Seven of Psalm 23: My Shepherd Pursues Me

How thankful I am that I am not alone in my grief. The Lord sees me. The Lord loves me. The Lord pursues me. He comes down to where I am and says, "I am here. I am with you. I will not leave your side." 

There is no greater joy in knowing that I matter that much to Him. That my child mattered that much to Him.


~2012: Love and Loss



~~~~





He restoreth my soul; He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

~Psalm 23:3



~~~




Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I wilt fear no evil, for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me.

~Psalm 23:4




~~~






~~~





Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemy; Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

~Psalm 23: 4-5










Graphics, thanks to ~2012: Love and Loss, and ~Hers to Treasure

Monday, May 27, 2013

Blessed Memorial Day







Blessed Memorial Day




Thank you for all of those in the United States of America who are serving for us, have served for us, and have served to the point of complete sacrifice for us...





Somehow, the following message puts so much in perspective, not only of the many sacrifices made for us and our freedoms, but for the sacrifice upon sacrifice, with the grief of their grieving mothers... 







May each of you have a very Blessed Memorial Day. Whether in the U.S. or elsewhere, I know we will all be remembering our children, who left, too soon, today and everyday.










Graphics, thanks to ~Common Sense Club shared by Grieving Mother, Darlene Thomas, and ~MOUNTAIN WISDOM shared by ~Writing Through Your Grief

Monday's Mourning Ministry - "Talitha, Koum!" / The Voice of My Beloved ~Cynthia Clawson







Monday's Mourning Ministry

"Talitha, Koum!"

/

The Voice of My Beloved

~Cynthia Clawson







In Scripture, when Jesus was asked by a father, a man named Jairus who knew he was about to lose his daughter, to come to his home and lay hands on his daughter who was about to die, Jesus was very responsive and went right away with Jairus to the man's home. Even though people from his home town came and found this father in the crowd of people traveling with them, to tell him not to bother Jesus any more because his daughter had already died, Jesus ignored the people and told the father, a synagogue leader, "Don't be afraid; just believe." 

When He arrived at the house, Jesus questioned the many people that had already gathered there inside the home, why they were making so much noise weeping and wailing, and said, "She is not dead, only asleep." The people began mocking Him, full of disbelief, so Jesus threw them out of the house. Jesus then took the child's father and mother and His three disciples into the room where the little girl was;.He then took the little girl's hand, and said the now famous words, "Talitha, koum!" - Aramaic for, "Little girl, rise up!"


~~~




Jesus could have said these words to my child as well on that night that was fatal for her, but He did not... Ofttimes I wonder why He didn't utter those words to her that night… And yet, I imagine what my child must have heard when Jesus did call to her that night… Was it the voice of her Beloved as the song so tenderly describes, as she heard, "Precious child, rise up, and come to Me!" 

Either message Jesus delivered was His voice of love calling out to both girls. Either message He uttered was a message of love. In a different, but equally loving way, my child heard His words, "Talitha. koum!" "Baby girl, rise up!" And for that I am so very grateful… If she could talk to me tonight to describe it to me, would she tell me what she heard that night… words similar to Clawson's? 

"Hear the voice of my Beloved 
gently call at close of day:

'Come my love, come and meet Me!
Rise, oh rise, and come away!'"







Hear the Voice of My Beloved

~Cynthia Clawson

(Gaither Homecoming)



Hear the voice of my Beloved
Gently call at close of day:
"Come my love, come and meet me!
Rise, oh rise, and come away!"

Winter’s Dark will soon be over
And the rain is nearly done
Flowers bloom and trees are budding
Time for singing has begun.

I have waited through the Shadow
For my Lord to call for me.
Now the Morning breaks eternal
In its light His face I see
Now the Morning breaks eternal
And at last His face I see.

When you see the fields re-budding,
You will know the summer’s near
And when you hear the words I’ve spoken,
You will know My coming’s near!
So keep on listening, my beloved,
For My coming’s very near!



~~~~~



Mark 5:21-43 (The Expanded version of the Bible):


Jesus Gives Life to a Dead Girl and Heals a Sick Woman

21 When Jesus went in the boat back to the other side of the lake, a large crowd gathered around him there. 22 A leader of the synagogue, named Jairus, came there, saw Jesus, and ·fell [bowed; knelt] at his feet. 23 He begged Jesus, ·saying again and again [earnestly saying], “My daughter is dying. Please come and ·put [lay] your hands on her so she will be healed and will live.” 24 So Jesus went with him.

A large crowd followed Jesus and pushed very close around him. 25 Among them was a woman who had been bleeding for twelve years [Cprobably a chronic menstrual disorder]. 26 She had suffered very much from many doctors and had spent all the money she had, but instead of improving, she was getting worse. 27 When the woman heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his ·coat [cloak; garment]. 28 [For] She ·thought [said], “If I can just touch his clothes, I will ·be healed [get well; be saved].” 29 Instantly her bleeding stopped, and she felt in her body that she was healed from her disease.

30 At once Jesus ·felt [perceived] power go out from him. So he turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”

31 His ·followers [disciples] said, “Look at how many people are pushing against you! And you ask, ‘Who touched me?’”

32 But Jesus continued looking around to see who had touched him. 33 The woman, knowing that she was healed, came and fell at Jesus’ feet. Shaking with fear, she told him the whole truth. 34 Jesus said to her, “·Dear woman [Daughter], ·you are made well because you believed [your faith has saved/healed you]. Go in peace; be healed of your disease.”

35 While Jesus was still speaking, some people came from the house of the synagogue leader. They said, “Your daughter is dead. ·There is no need to bother the teacher anymore.” [Why trouble the teacher anymore?”]

36 But Jesus ·paid no attention to [or overheard] what they said. He told the synagogue leader, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”

37 Jesus let only Peter, James, and John the brother of James go with him. 38 When they came to the house of the synagogue leader, Jesus found many people there making lots of noise and ·crying loudly [weeping and wailing loudly].39 Jesus entered the house and said to them, “Why are you ·crying [weeping] and making so much noise? The child is not dead, only asleep.” 40 But they ·laughed at [ridiculed] him. So, after ·throwing [putting] them [all] out of the house, Jesus took the child’s father and mother and his three followers into the room where the child was. 41 Taking hold of the girl’s hand, he said to her, “Talitha, koum!” (This means [in Aramaic, the language Jesus commonly spoke], “Little girl, I tell you to stand up!”) 42 At once the girl stood right up and began walking. (She was twelve years old.) Everyone was completely amazed. 43 Jesus gave them strict orders not to tell people about this. Then he told them to give the girl something to eat.










Picture, thanks to, "Hope for the Broken Hearted" 
Grief Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-FGjI4WVG4

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Saturday's Sayings - The Nature of Grief and Healing…







Saturday's Sayings

The Nature of Grief and Healing…









































































































































Graphics, thanks to ~2012: Love and Loss