~ You Can Never Prepare For The Moments That Change Your Life ~
You Can Never Prepare...
Grief has dropped a bomb in your life.
You are shattered, blasted, blown apart and all but nearly destroyed.
Amongst the shards, amongst the debris, you live.
You don't know how. You can't see.
You can do nothing but feel the pain that is within you and around you.
You don't understand, you will never understand.
You lay down amongst the rubble for you can do nothing else
and you cry, like you have never cried in your life before
and you think why me, why this?
without knowing how
you uncurl yourself
and brush yet more tears from your face
and you walk.
You begin to pick up a shard,
a broken piece of your life here
and a broken piece there.
They don't fit together anymore, they can't.
There is no going back to what once was.
And as each tiny fragment begins to shape itself anew,
so do you.
Your shape is a stranger to you now and to everyone else.
Your pieces have become you.
They speak of your strength,
of your courage
and they speak of you,
the vulnerable you,
the broken you,
the loving you
and the wonderful you.
---- Grief Credo ----
˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·
I believe grief is a process that involves a lot of time,
I won't "get over it" in a (hurry),
so don't rush me!
I believe grief is intensely personal.
This is my grief.
Don't tell me how I should be doing it.
Don't tell me what's right or what's wrong.
I'm doing it my way,
in my time.
I believe grief is affecting me in many ways.
I am being affected
If I'm not acting like my old self,
it's because I'm not my old self
and some days even I
don't understand myself.
I believe I will be affected in some way by this loss for the rest of my life.
As I get older, I will have new insights into what this death means to me.
My loved one will continue to be part of my life and influence me until the day I die.
I believe I am being changed by this process.
I see life differently.
Some things that were once important to me aren't any more.
Some things I used to pay little or no attention to are now important.
I think a new me is emerging,
so don't be surprised -
and don't stand in the way.
~Writing Through Your Grief
THE AFTER LOSS CREDO
I need to talk about my loss.
I may often need to tell you what happened -
or to ask you why it happened.
Each time I discuss my loss, I am helping myself
face the reality of the death of my loved one.
I need to know that you care about me.
I need to feel your touch, your hugs.
I need you just to be "with" me.
(And I need to be with you.)
I need to know you believe in me and in my
ability to get through my grief in my own way.
(And in my own time.)
Please don't judge me now -
or think that I'm behaving strangely.
Remember I'm grieving.
I may even be in shock.
I may feel afraid. I may feel deep rage.
I may even feel guilty. But above all, I hurt.
I'm experiencing a pain unlike any I've ever felt before.
Don't worry if you think I'm getting better
and then suddenly I seem to slip backward.
Grief makes me behave this way at times.
And please don't tell me you "know how I feel,"
or that it's time for me to get on with my life.
(I am probably already saying this to myself.)
What I need now is
and to recover.
Most of all, thank you for being my friend.
Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for caring.
Thank you for helping,
Thank you for praying for me.
in the days or years ahead,
when you may have a loss
- when you need me
as I have needed you
- I will understand.
And then I will come
and be with you.
~Barbara Hills LesStrang
No words I write can ever say,
How much I miss you everyday.
As time goes by the loneliness grows,
How I miss you, nobody knows.
I think of you in silence,
I often speak your name.
But all I have are memories
and a photo in a frame.
No one knows my sorrow.
No one sees me weep.
But the love I have for you,
Is in my heart to keep.
I've never stopped loving you--
I know I never will.
Deep inside my heart,
you are with me still.
Heartaches in this world are many,
But mine is worse than any.
My heart still aches as I whisper low,
"I love you and I miss you so."
The things we feel so deeply
are often the hardest to say,
But I just can't keep quiet anymore,
so I'll tell you anyway.
There is a place in my heart,
that no one else can fill.
I love you so, my precious child
. . . And I always will!
~shared by grieving mom Ethel Kowal, on her daughter Carissa's 2-year Angelversary
For some, especially for those whose interest relies heavily on pleasing everyone around them, wasting time on people who don't love them in an effort to try to convince those people to love them is a major part of their lives. If you are one of these people, it is time for you to make a change today. Life is way too short to waste time trying to convince someone that you are worthy to be loved. —
~My Attitude - My Life - My Rules
What is an Angel Mom? She is a MOTHER first and foremost. She may have more than one child, but she has LOST a child to death. Some violent, some not...She is one of the strongest women you will ever meet. If you ask her though, she will say she is weak...She has so much love and compassion in her heart...she loves all her children equally...BUT she will ALWAYS miss her lost child...She will cry every night when she goes to bed...She will be OVER PROTECTIVE of her remaining children...because she KNOWS what can happen...It can be anywhere from 1 day to 50 years...but she will still cry for the child that is no longer there...So if you see her, mention her child's name...tell her that you remember them...because THAT IS ALL SHE WANTS...she will NEVER forget her child...but she fears ALL others will...just be KIND and let her know, no matter how long it has been, that you will ALWAYS remember her...child...too...♥ ♥ ♥
~Writing Through Your Grief
"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light."