Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Tuesday's Trust - "The Sharp-Edged Remains of Our Shattered Dreams"



"Sometimes stories don't have happy endings. 
Even love stories. 
Maybe especially love stories." 




Tuesday's Trust 


"The Sharp-Edged 
Remains 
of 
Our Shattered Dreams"










How then shall we "live"?
Our child has died---died---dead---gone!
Does not anyone understand our devastation?
We who love---no crime is it?--our beloved child
Seem left to sit in the ashes of her remains
To awaken every day only to face---
She is not here!
From this sweet earth, she is gone!
All dreams for her seemingly dashed upon the ground!
Why would we not be devastated?
Of course we are!
We are left to flail away in "the sharp-edged remains of our shattered dreams."

What a destiny for parents whose continued love 
for their child is now deemed a "crime."
"Let it go. Move on. Stop the tears."
No way! We will always love our child, 
and therefore we will always miss her, long for her, and always know she is gone!
And with that missing, and longing, and knowing,
we will cry. There will be tears.
Of course there will be tears.
Our love does not stop . . .
while we try to find our place now
amidst these 
"sharp-edged remains of our shattered  dreams."






And where is our LORD in all this?

He is there---amidst the pain---
Amidst her remains---
Sitting with us, weeping with us, loving us, 
comforting us, and drawing our hearts, our faces, 
our lives upward to see Him, to see the 
Hope that He has promised…

"She is with Me ---
I am holding her
even as I am holding you ~
She is safe,
She is loved,
She is with Me…
Longingly awaiting you.

"The love is still there;
Bask in it.
It is deeper, stronger, more understanding.
She sees your pain. She knows your pain.
She too longs for you.
Bask in that love.
Bask in My love.
Bask in your love for one another,
a love that grows deeper every day.
And know, that love will blossom
into fruition that you cannot imagine.
That love is not in vain.
That love is from Me---it is sacred---and it will remain.
Bask in that---even as you are in pain . . ."





Poem- "The Sharp-Edged Remains of Our Shattered Dreams" - Angie Bennett Prince - May 15, 2016




~~~~~



"Love had turned into loss… but… love had remained.  
…love… Immutable.  
Unbearable but unbreakable."



~~~~~








~~~~~









~~~~~








~~~~~




"Wounds heal. Love lasts. We remain." 










"The Sharp-Edged Remains of Our Shattered Dreams" ---
The title of my poem is from a quote by writer Ken Gire:
"But until the day when we return to that place (Paradise)
or the day when Jesus returns to take us there,
we must live our lives under the rainbow . . .
where the road ahead is not paved with yellow bricks.
Sometimes it has no bricks at all,
only the sharp-edged remains of our shattered dreams."
(highlight, mine),
from his book, 
The Divine Embrace: An invitation to the dance of intimacy with Christ. 
One exhilarating, ennobling, uncertain step at a time.
~Ken Gire, (2003), page 32.




~~~~~



Quote 1 - pp, 379-380 The Nightingale ~Kristin Hannah

"Sometimes stories don't have happy endings. 
Even love stories. 
Maybe especially love stories."



Quote 2 - p. 368 The Nightingale ~Kristin Hannah
"Love had turned into loss… but… love had remained.   
…love… Immutable.  
Unbearable but unbreakable."


Quote 3 - p. 438, last words of The Nightingale ~Kristin Hannah

"Wounds heal. Love lasts. We remain."



Sunday, May 8, 2016

A Mother's Day Lament ~ A Song and a Poem for You: Sometimes I Feel Like a Child-Loss Mom ~Bessie Griffin / "Holy Darkness" ~Dan Schutte







"No one understands my pain like Jesus, 
who suffered as one of us and came back 
{via His Holy Spirit into our hearts} 
to comfort us in our sorrows." 




Sunday's Sorrow

A Mother's Day Lament 
A Song and a Poem for You:

Sometimes I Feel Like a Child-Loss Mom 
~Bessie Griffin 

"Holy Darkness" 
~Dan Schutte













"Sometimes I Feel Like a Child-Loss Mom" 
edited version of "Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child"

~Bessie Griffin 

(with lyrics edited for child-loss parents)




Sometimes I feel like a child-loss mom 
Sometimes I feel like a child-loss mom 
Sometimes I feel like a child-loss mom 
A long ways from home
A long ways from home



Sometimes I feel like I'm almost gone
Sometimes I feel like I'm almost gone
Sometimes I feel like I'm almost gone
Way up in the heavenly land,
Way up in the heavenly land.
True believer
Way up in the heavenly land,
Way up in the heavenly land.




~~~~~





Silently, one by one, in the infinite meadows of Heaven
Blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of the angels…

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

~

"Starry Sky over the river Rohne" 

~painting by Vincent van Gogh



~~~~~


Yesterday, a precious fellow-grieving-mother/fellow-psychotherapist loaned me one of her favorite grief books, on the road to emmaus: A TRAVEL GUIDE THROUGH GRIEF (2008) (134 pages) written by Myrlene Hamilton Hess. I read the following entry today and had a really good cry, so I thought you fellow-grieving-mothers might "enjoy" the poignancy of this poem as well on this, your special day ~ Mother's Day. Warning: it did draw many tears from me today….


Excerpt from on the road to emmaus, page 50:


It's often true that a poem or a song or a picture communicates truth and emotion far better and quicker than many words in a narrative. The following song by Dan Schutte is one that communicates great meaning to me, and I hope it will to you as well. Think of it as God speaking to you into the dark night of your soul. Don't just read it; drink it in, and let it seep into your heart as you read it and ponder its meaning for you.




"Holy Darkness" 

~Dan Schutte





Refrain
Holy darkness, blessed night,
(H)eaven's answer hidden from our sight.
As we await you, O God of silence,
we embrace (Y)our holy night.

1.
I have tried you in fires of affliction
I have taught your soul to grieve.
In the barren soil of your loneliness,
there I will plant (M)y seed.

Refrain
Holy darkness, blessed night,
(H)eaven's answer hidden from our sight.
As we await you, O God of silence,
we embrace (Y)our holy night.

2.
I have taught you the price of compassion;
you have stood before the grave.
Though (M)y love can seem
like a raging storm,
this is the love that saves.

Refrain
Holy darkness, blessed night,
(H)eaven's answer hidden from our sight.
As we await you, O God of silence,
we embrace (Y)our holy night.

3.
Were you there 
when I raised up the mountains?
Can you guide the morning star?
Does the heart take flight
when you give command?
Why do you doubt (M)y pow'r?

Refrain
Holy darkness, blessed night,
(H)eaven's answer hidden from our sight.
As we await you, O God of silence,
we embrace (Y)our holy night.

4. 
In your deepest hour of darkness
I will give you wealth untold,
When the silence stills your spirit,
will (M)y riches fill your soul.

Refrain
Holy darkness, blessed night,
(H)eaven's answer hidden from our sight.
As we await you, O God of silence,
we embrace (Y)our holy night.

5.
As the watchman waits for morning,
and the bride awaits her groom,
so we wait to hear (Y)our footsteps
as we rest beneath (Y)our moon.

Refrain
Holy darkness, blessed night,
(H)eaven's answer hidden from our sight.
As we await you, O God of silence,
we embrace (Y)our holy night.



~~~





May you have a very Blessed Mother's Day!











The painting of Jesus comforting a mother is thanks to

"M" Words and the Christian Woman (on Facebook)

Lament Song: "Sometimes I Feel Like a Child-Loss Mom"
edited version of "Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NDwW8onaoA

Lament Painting: 

"Starry Sky over the river Rohne" painting by Vincent Van Gogh
https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/993523370689773/?type=3&theater

Lament Sentiment by Longfellow:

"Silently, one by one, in the infinite meadows of heaven 
Blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of the angels" 
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Lament Poem: 
"Holy Darkness" 
~Dan Schutte
(Daniel L. Schutte, Holy Darkness (Portland, OR: Oregon Catholic Press, 1988, 1989).
found in the book, on the road to emmaus: TRAVEL GUIDE THROUGH GRIEF, page 50




Saturday, May 7, 2016

Saturday's Sayings - Mother's Day Messages of Love from Across the Veil…







Saturday's Sayings


 Mother's Day Messages of Love from Across the Veil… 














Messages of Love
To, and From, 
Our Child in Heaven…





Parent to Child in Heaven:



Now that you are gone, 
my heart is broken.
But because you were once here,
it is completely filled with Love.




~~~~~




Child in Heaven to Parent:




Don't weep at my grave,
For I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
To dance in the air.
I'll be singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
Playing tag with the wind,
While I'm waiting for thee.

~Angels of the Heart
Picture, Author Unknown



(This particular writing makes me tear up; I can just see my Merry Katherine saying this…)




~~~~~




 Parent to Child in Heaven...




I heard your voice in the wind today
and I turned to see your face;
The warmth of the wind caressed me
as I stood silently in place.

I felt your touch in the sun today
as its warmth filled the sky;
I closed my eyes for your embrace
and my spirit soared high.

I saw your eyes in the window pane
as I watched the falling rain;
It seemed as each raindrop fell
it quietly said your name.

I held you close in my heart today
it made me feel complete;
You may have died...but you are not gone
you will always be a part of me.

As long as the sun shines...
the wind blows...
the rain falls...
You will live on inside of me forever
for that is all my heart knows.


~ Bonnie Breuilly-Pike, 
"Under Orion's Sky...You Live" from "Dancing with the Spirits of Shadowplay"

"Holding Hands" painting by Judy Mackey




~~~~~




Child in Heaven to Parent:




I'm no longer by your side,
But there's no need to weep
I've left sweet recollections
I'm hoping you will keep.

Eternal joy and memories
stay in our hearts forever,
strengthening our special bond
That parting cannot sever.

And if times of loneliness
bring sorrow and dismay,
don't despair, for I am there
Just a memory away.


~ Rita S. Beer
Painting by Claire Clements





~~~~~




 Parent to Child in Heaven...






When I close my eyes
You are here
Your charisma, your cheer, your tenderness
I feel you here

When I close my eyes
You are with me
Your spirit, your beauty, your charm
I feel you with me

When I close my eyes
You are in my arms
Your warmth, your compassion, your love
I feel you in my arms

No matter how far apart
Nor what the circumstance
I feel you here with me, in my arms - always
When I close my eyes


~ W. Jason Duncan 
Painting by Hyatt Moore




~~~~~




Child in Heaven to Parent:





ALWAYS WITH YOU

Your heart may be heavy and aching,
Now that I'm no longer here.
But, though you may shed many tears,
Let memories banish your fear.

My arms are no longer around you.
My lips cannot speak of my love.
But, I'm with you in spirit each day,
As I look down from Heaven above.

The house may be silent without me.
It doesn't mean I can't be there.
And, every night that you sleep,
Our love, in your dreams, we still share.

As you continue, alone on earth,
I'll be with you each step of the way.
I can still be the strength that you need,
To carry you through each new day.

Although, I know you can't see me,
Our spirits are joined as before.
So, whenever you feel uplifted,
Know it's me just loving you more.

In Heaven, we're given a gift
To still tend to the ones left behind.
So, smile when you think of me.
I remain in your heart and your mind.


~ Marian Jones
Painting, Author Unknown




~~~~~




 Parent to Child in Heaven...




I remember everything about you
Your voice, your smile, your touch
The way you walked, the way you talked
The way you looked at me, meant so much

I remember all the words you said to me
Some funny, some kind, some wise
All of the things you did for me
I see now with different eyes

I remember every moment we shared
Seems like only yesterday
Or maybe it was eons ago
It's really hard to say

You are gone from me now
But one thing they can't take away
Your memory resides inside my heart
And lights up my darkest days

~ Author Unknown
"Mother and Child" painting by Claire Szalay




~~~~~




Child in Heaven to Parent:





You think I've gone, that I am dead, and life has lost it's will,
But look around, I am right there, living with you still
I watch your tears, I feel your pain - I see the things you do
I weep as well, each time you cry, my soul, it lives with you

It gives such joy to hear you laugh, and do the things you do
And when you smile o'er by gone days, I smile right with you too
For we're still one, just you and me, one mind, one soul, one being
Walking forward into life, though only you are seen

And in the stillness of the night, when the pain it really starts
Stretch out a little with your mind and draw me to your heart
For I am always right in there, always by your side
For you have been, all my life's days, my joy, my love, my pride.

~ Author Unknown
"Souls Journey" painting by Janice Chrysler


~~~~~




Parent to Child in Heaven:




It seems like only yesterday
I rocked you on my knee,
With dreams about the future and
What you were going to be.

You were so bright and happy
Such a precious little boy,
You gave your love to everyone
And filled our hearts with joy.

Strangers would admire you
And stop to say hello,
"He'll break a lot of hearts," they said,
"In twenty years or so."

But less than twenty years from then,
What they said came true,
As we were forced against our will
To say goodbye to you.

A life so short and unfulfilled,
With so much left to go,
"Why, oh why?" we ask ourselves,
When we all loved you so.

Life shows us many options,
But whichever path we take
The destination's still the same
Whatever choice we make.

So many questions flood our minds,
"What if, and Why and How?"
If we had done things differently,
Would you still be with us now?

I don't know what the lesson was
That you were sent here to learn,
But now your purpose is fulfilled
It's time for you to return.

When I hear the phone ring
I expect to hear you say,
"Alright Mom? What're you doing,
Can I come 'round today?"

But you don't need to ask now,
You're with us every day,
Within our hearts, our minds, our souls,
Your memory will stay.

No fear, no pain or sorrow,
Can touch you anymore
But the love you've left behind,
Will live with us forever more.

~ Jan Andersen
"Mother and Child" painting by Karen Reitsma




~~~~~




Child in Heaven to Parent:





...But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before…

When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind…

There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time…

And when its time for you to go...from that body to be free,
Remember you're not going...you're coming here to me.

~ Ruth Ann Mahaffey
Painting, Author Unknown




~~~~~




Parent to Child in Heaven...





So go and run free with the angels
Dance around the golden clouds
For the Lord has chosen you to be with (H)im
And we should feel nothing but proud

Although (H)e has taken you from us
And our pain a lifetime will last
Your memory will never escape us
But make us glad for the time we did have

Your face will always be hidden
Deep inside our hearts
Each precious moment you gave us
Shall never, ever depart

So go and run free with the angels
As they sing so tenderly
And please be sure to tell them
To take good care of you for me

~ Author Unknown
"Angel Light" painting by Marina Petro

(Capitalizations of Deity pronouns, mine)










Thank you to The Far Side of the Rainbow/Facebook 
for all of the writings and paintings used today!

You may find the individual entries below:



#1)
https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1075743665801076/?type=3&theater


#2)


#3)
~Angels of the Heart
Picture, Author Unknown



#4)
~ Bonnie Breuilly-Pike, "Under Orion's Sky...You Live" from "Dancing with the Spirits of Shadowplay"



"Holding Hands" painting by Judy Mackey



#5)
~ Rita S. Beer
Painting by Claire Clements



#6)
~ W. Jason Duncan 
Painting by Hyatt Moore



#7)
~ Marian Jones
Painting, Author Unknown



#8)
~ Author Unknown
"Mother and Child" painting by Claire Szalay



#9)
~ Author Unknown
"Souls Journey" painting by Janice Chrysler



#10)
Writing: ~ Jan Andersen
"Mother and Child" painting by Karen Reitsma



#11)
Writing: ~Ruth Ann Mahaffey
Painting, Author Unknown



#12)
Writing: ~Author Unknown
"Angel Light" painting by Marina Petro

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1008157489226361/?type=3&theater



Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Wednesday's Woe - "We're Collapsing Here!"






Wednesday's Woe

"We're Collapsing Here!"









"We're collapsing here!"

so the golfer said.
His was only a game of golf,
(For him--- no Master's coat received.)

(For us? Our child is dead!  
The worst a parent can conceive….)

"We're collapsing here!"
Yet, the Truth is what sets free.
My collapsing here…?
Is such suffering my Master's call for me?

"We're collapsing here!"
Such state taints all we do!
Yet…it seems that into such suffering,
our God calls all His saints…

"We're collapsing here!"
To die to self feels like sure defeat,
(But only in God's purview…
what we define as loss,
our God defines as gain!)
Drop the encumbrance of this world~
Our loss becomes God's gain!

"We're collapsing here…"
What if That is our true call?
We suffer the world's worst loss,
Yet, our child receives God's all!

"We're collapsing here,"
A golfer's response to a game
Yet in the true Game of Life
Our loss becomes God's gain...

Meaning is restored:
Lord, help me collapse in You again…




Poem - "We're Collapsing Here!" - Angie Bennett Prince - April 11, 2016
(the day after golf champion Jordan Stied lost the Masters' Tournament…)










Monday, April 4, 2016

♫ Monday's Mourning Ministry ~ You Were Always On My Mind







Monday's Mourning Ministry

You Were Always On My Mind






Coming to the end of Merry Katherine's birthday month, Tommy and I were listening to a variety of music in an attempt to bring some peace and comfort to our hearts. The music was entertaining and even comforting. But then we began listening to this song "You Were Always On Our Mind," written and sung by Willie Nelson in his poignant voice.

Both hearts melting into a pile, we fell into each other's arms and cried and cried... and cried some more; it was if our crying could not stop.

It has been 9 1/2 years after losing our baby girl, yet we are still thrown back to Square. One. 


We each cried so hard.

I had scheduled clients for the following day thinking that that date should be well past Merry Katherine's birthday date and that I should be in a fairly stable place to help others by then...

Well, I calculated wrong. . .

My eyes were so swollen they would barely open. Needless to say, I cancelled clients for the next day...

I am doing better today but of course, even as I write and post this song for you, I am crying again!






~~~





You Were Always On My Mind

~Willie Nelson



Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have...

If I made you feel second best
Girl I'm sorry I was blind
But you were always on my mind.
You were always on my mind.

Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me,
Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died
And give me 
Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied
I'll keep you satisfied


(Musical Interlude)


Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

You were always on my mind



~~~





We parents, I think, do the very best we can by our children, but of course, there are always some things we think we could have done better when we look from hindsight. So the poignant words of this song pierce the very center of my heart and soul as I ever long to do more and more to nurture my baby.

It would be so nice if we could peer into Heaven and see the incredible peace on our beloved one's face, but that is where we need the Lord's help to live by faith...


Sweet blessings to each of you...as you grieve your precious child. May our Lord bind every wound of your hurting heart day by day by painful day...



~~~


This Scripture is our comfort, for it assures us that our broken hearts are very important to God... so important He sent Jesus to rescue us, to save our crushed spirits, and to bind and heal our brokenness:




A portion of our Lord's words found in Luke 4:18 KJV as He was indicating that His coming to earth was for the very purpose of fulfilling of the prophecy He quoted from Isaiah 61:1: 
"He has sent Me to bind up the brokenhearted."


Isaiah 61:1-3 KJV
Old Testament
1)The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; (H)e hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;
2)To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;
3)To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
 
New Testament (over 400 years later)
Luke 4:18-21 KJV (Jesus speaking)
18"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because (H)e hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; (H)e hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,
19To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD."
20And (H)e closed the book, and (H)e gave it again to the minister, and sat down. And the eyes of all them that were in the synagogue were fastened on (H)im.
21And (H)e began to say unto them, This day is this scripture fulfilled in your ears.

{Highlights and some capitalizations, mine}



Thank You God, and Thank You Jesus that You sacrificed everything out of love for us and out of love for each and every one of our precious "babies."








https://youtu.be/R7f189Z0v0Y

Pictures, thanks to Bing Images